In my last post, I discussed about the role of parents in inculcating good listening habits in children.
As you have already started following those tips from, it is time now to get the kids listen to you.
‘I have been a very good listener and never ever tried to be rude to him. But still he needs repeated instructions and nagging to get to something.’/
This is the complaint of most of the parents. There are certain things to follow while giving the child an instruction. Our body language, gestures and most importantly our temper speak more than our words.
Get Your Child Listen to You At the First Go:
So now, how do you get them listen to us at the first go and get the work done.
A common sight in everybody’s household is that the fuss and chaos made by the kids to follow instructions. They are often reluctant and least bothered to pay a heed to what parents say.
Even I had faced the same with my son. Whenever, I wanted him to do a particular task, he seldom used to pay attention to my words. I used to yell at the top of my voice and got the work done very rarely. I had to literally pull him over to get it done. Only after repeated instructions he used to finish the task.
After dealing with my son for some time now, I have come to a conclusion that there are a few thumb rules to follow to get the work done smoothly and maintain the joy and fun filled atmosphere in the house.
Here we go:
1. Maintain a Stern Voice:
Your voice when you are giving an instruction should neither be too loud nor be too soft. It should have the proper volume and sternness in it.
2. Go to the Child and Give the Instruction:
Instead of yelling at him to do something, while you are busy with your laptop, try going to the child and give the instruction. That doesn’t mean you always keep explaining him why and how it is important. Here, your expression and gestures do the work for you.
The child needs to understand that there is no other way except completing the task. He should know that it is seriously important for him to finish it and there is no other go.
3. Talk Less:
When you want your child to get to do something, keep your instruction short, sweet and to the point. Don’t keep explaining or nagging about the thing. The child might get fussy and lose interest in listening to you as it is too long a lecture for him.
4. Give it Straight:
If you decide that the work to be done cannot be negotiated, just say it. No ‘can you’ or ‘will you’ or ‘please’! Don’t give them any hint of negotiation in your words. Put it across straight to the point.
5. Be Firm:
We often keep nagging about a task that the child has to do and give repeated instructions. If the child does not respond, we keep raising our voice every time we repeat it. As parents, we think that whatever we wanted them to do is the priority. Believe me, this is not a good practice. This way you are hinting the child that ‘yes! Raise your voice to get the work done or keep nagging’.
Instead, let the child finish, whatever he has been doing or set a time limit to complete that. Then instruct him about the next task he has to start working on. This way the child will get a clear idea of what he has to do. He even will not be triggered to throw any tantrum as you are being firm on what you wanted.
6. Keep your Calm:
Generally, after repeated instructions we tend loose our temper and start yelling at the children which is a strict no! Things turn worse if you do this and you will no more be able to get the work done.
7. Post its:
Sticking reminders in the child’s room will be like reinforcing without your involvement directly. Of course, it is you, who is behind it. But for the child, the medium has changed and will be like a reiteration of whatever you have been telling him all the time. Posters, post its or a simple note on the wall will remind him of the tasks to be completed. They will also help him in checking out his behaviour.
8. Be a Role Model:
You are the role model for your child. Children observe our deeds and follow just that intentionally or unintentionally. So be conscious of what you are doing and your behaviour. If you expect certain behaviour from the child, make sure you are the one who can portray that first.
9. Spend Time:
Not listening can occasionally be a tantrum to grab your attention towards him. Make sure you spend quality time with your kids. In our busy schedule we hardly spend time with the child. We do not know what his strengths and challenges are. Lack of the bonding between you and the child might provoke him to show up that behaviour.
10. Last and the Most Important
It’s okay if nothing works out and start it all over again. We have to keep in mind that after all they are children and children tend to do this. Tell yourself everything is going to be fine and get back to work.
What are your thoughts?
We will discuss more and more about parenting and child behaviour on my blog regularly. I would like to know more about your experiences with your children and what do you do to put things in place.
Parenting becomes a better experience when shared and discussed. Remember, nothing is right or wrong in parenting; it’s all about trying something which works best for our child.
Do share your views to help others to become a better parent.